The problem of buying for her
Apparently buying your missus a vacuum for Christmas is ‘unromantic.’ Look, it was called Henry and looked like a yellow teddy bear, how was I to know? Likewise, taking her to the Shell garage on Christmas Eve and telling her to ‘take her pick’ is apparently ‘out of order’. Leave it out! Now, I like Christmas as much as the next man, (as long as that’s not my mate ‘Chemical’ Derek, who converted his Cosworth into a sleigh), and I love Christmas shopping. But, when it comes to buying for the missus, it’s fair to say I’ve had a few false starts.
But fair’s fair, last year I really tried. And guess what, girls don’t like Haynes manuals or hacksaws either. So, in recent months I’ve been thinking about lingerie. Mostly about Kelly Brook in lingerie, but lingerie nevertheless. The problem is, as a real man, I wouldn’t be seen dead in Anne Summers and searching for suspenders online, tends to send me off on the wrong track. So that leaves perfume.
Perfume to me is Windolene and Swarfega, but according to my mate’s sister who’s a hairdresser, girls like it. I’ll see if Halfords has any offers on next time I’m in.
Still, as I’ve told the missus, Christmas is not just about giving. It’s about doing things you wouldn’t normally do, like rebuilding the front forks of your quad bike in the living room, or going out with her sister. In a moment of soppiness, I even agreed to let her cook Christmas dinner for me and my mates and walk the dogs, while the lads watch the game on Boxing Day. I tell you I must be going soft. I’ll be letting her hold my Iron Press next…
Have a real Christmas!